September 27, 2004
seX & d KanciL...it's will make u laugh all nite long :P
Message: The recent hoo-ha over a couple having
sex inside a kancil has spilled over to the 5Star.
Many readers have written in to ask for our
experts advice. Our5Star columinist,Ms Lai Ma
(formerly a karaoke lounge singer), is more of
a 'Mercedes type' rather than a 'kancil type'
Nevertheless, she will try to answer your questions
as best as she can. And we wish to remind you
that the 5Star is 5 times better than that lousy
dipshit one-star competitor.
Dear Lai Ma, Everytime I and my girlfriend make
out in a Kancil, the car will start rocking up and
down. This motion attracts the attention of passing
cops who then come and park thier motorcycle in
front of the car. Is there a way to prevent the kancil
from rocking up n down? I have already changed
the absorbers, tyres and even the cushion
covers,but nothing works. I hope you dont mind
me asking you this very technical
question....Nuclear Scientist.
Dear Nuclear Scientist,
This is a very technical problem and needs very
specialized knowledge to solve. I know that my
departmental office boy makes out with his
girlfriend in a Kancil in the car park at night. He
uses a car jack to 1st jack up the side of the car a
bit. When the weight of the car rests on four
wheels and one jack, it will not rock very much.
Dont be afraid to ask us technical questions. We,
the 5Star, are very technical people.
Dear Lai Ma,
I have made out with guys in both Mercedes and
Kancils. I find that I am able to achieve better
orgasms inside a Kancil. Does that mean that
Kancil drivers are better lovers Mercedes drivers?
Beh Pai Seh.
Dear Beh Pai Seh,
Kancil drivers are not better lovers. The reason
you have been getting better orgasms in a kancil
is because the car is very cramped inside, which
gave you a much tighter feeling. The tighter the
better mah......
Dear Lai Ma,
My boyfriend just bought a new Kancil and i find
that there is not enough space in the back seat for
proper lovemaking. My legs would stick out of the
left window and his legs out of the right window.
Do u think we should modify the car?
Miss Contort
Dear Miss Contort,
Your legs............. left window......... his
legs.........right window.... Oh... I understand now!
Please do not, I repeat, do not attempt the "sixty-
nine" position inside any car. Get a hotel room
instead.
Dear Lai Ma, We read so much about people
having sex in a Kancil. My girlfriend and i decided
to try it. So yesterday she went down on me in the
front seat. But I find that the Kancil is really
cramped, and her head keeps blocking me from
reaching the gear shift. Is this normal?
First Timer.
Dear First Timer,
You want to reach for the gear shift for what?
oh.... my.... gawd...!!! You are awesome!!! But I
think that in future, before you and your girlfriend
try oral sex, you should stop the car first.
Dear Lai Ma,
I hear everybody talking about having sex with
Kancils nowdays, like it is the hottest thing to do. I
orso want. So i go to the jungle to see if I can
catch a female Kancil. But I catch nothing.
Because I think everybody caught the Kancil
already. Never leave for some for me. Why like
that? Why the world so screwed up?
Chin Tu Lan
Dear Tu Lan,
You are a pervert. Also retarded.very.
people have sex in Kancil, not with Kancil. Do u
understand the differemce or not,idiot? Ni NA Beh.
I dont want to answer this type of sick questions
any more. And how many times must I tell you not
to write to me?
But my talkcock editor said that we are 5Star
paper and we should not discriminate against
perverts.
He said that dirty perverts need love too. What a
moron.
But okay, if you want to make love to a Kancil, go
right ahead. Just stick your dick into the exhaust
pipe,and have fun. And tell me which kancil you
are using, because I want to come and start the
engine !!!
Posted at 4:02:40 am by cut3deviL
June 14, 2004
im bored! im bored!wut should i do argghhh...huh juz finish half of muh assignment but i feel so boring 2 do d assignment...somebody help me plies!!! i feel like i wanna go back home rite now but i cant arrgggghhhhh...juz b patient nana!midterm break juz around da corner but after da break i hv 2 faced wif all d test..owwh no,im soooooooo lazy rite now!wut a fat gal i am,day after day become fatter n fatter huh....urrmmm wutelse i wanna 2 type here...owwh god!seem like im lack of idea so i guess datz all 4 now but i hope so dat i'll get all d casting dat i go last friday n yesterday :D wish me lux everybody! chill!!! ;)
Posted at 12:18:41 am by cut3deviL
May 5, 2004
heheeheheheheheh its been quite long im not writing muh blog :) i juz come back from trimester break n i gonna 2 start study back uwaaaaaaaaaa how sad n lazy i am :P anyway wish me luck 2 muh study kay ;) WELCOME BACK EVRYBODY N hope u guys get a gewd result 4 d past xm :) mwahXz :x
Posted at 2:30:17 pm by cut3deviL
April 14, 2004
heheheehehe im on holiday now n i juz come back from langkawi n i hv a lot of fun wif all muh fren ;)anyway i hv 2 rush back 2 muh hometown now so c ya when eva i online hehehehehhehe mwahXz all :x
Posted at 6:56:37 pm by cut3deviL
April 9, 2004
gewd bye all muh frenz :((
it's d last day 4 all muh frenz here at mmu...im gonna miss u guys :( anyway dont 4get me here frenz coz im still at mmu xtending muh study :(( luv u guys all...2morrow im goin 4 vacation so seem dat i can't join u guys 4 dinner 2nite coz i hv 2 pack all muh thing b4 go 4 langkawi..so c u guys at ur convo day diz coming july ok ;)
p/s: i really sad rite now uwaaaaaaaaaaaa :(( LUV U ALL SO MUCH!~ i'll remember our sweet time 2gether as a classmate..mwahXz :x
Posted at 5:18:03 pm by cut3deviL
April 7, 2004
yeah! muh last paper is near!go friday go...hehehehehe :p after dat im goin 2 langkawi 4 vacation yeaaa!!! isnt it gewd if diz is muh last paper 4 muh degree program arrggghhh!!!...how sad it is :(( nvm nana juz work hard as u can(motivate muhself) ehehehehhhehehe :D
p/s: tue lah padan muke saper srh memain time matric! :p
Posted at 10:12:33 am by cut3deviL
last saturday me n muh rumet went 4 shuz shopping at KLCC!wut a crazee day...haaahhaahahah at d end of d day, i juz bought a pair of shuz but muh rumet bought 3 pair of shuz!!!crazee crazee crazee datz wut i can say!!! anyway i luv so much muh new red heels haahhaahahahahahahahah :))
p/s: muh heels can kill ppl 1 hahahahaahaha KILL BILL d 3rd! >:)
Posted at 5:07:00 am by cut3deviL
